HE LIVES

Why is it that we live in a world where we always want something different, something more, or we just don't have what's good enough? I've been feeling a lot of this pressure lately, and to be honest, it sucks. I have been waiting for these last couple of weeks to come by for a very long time, and now that they're here, I don't want them to be. I couldn't wait to be done with my job, I literally thought about it everyday. Sadly enough, after a series of events, my job was instantly gone. It was exactly what I had wanted, but not in the way that I wanted. I had a lot of pity on myself, and had lot's of "why me?" thoughts go through my head. We had 11 weeks left in Utah, and we were instantly left with no income, and there was no way I was going to find a job for the next couple of months. The stress of moving to one of the most expensive cities started to build up inside. How were we going to get through this?

I can honestly say that this has been one of the hardest times on our marriage, but it has also been the best of times. Isn't it funny how just when you think everything is going right, and nothing could possibly go wrong, you get your head put on straight, and are able to have a different perspective? Everything happens for a reason, and I am now a firm believer in that. After many prayers, we were able to find two jobs that allowed me to leave at the end of April. I am eternally grateful for how those jobs came to me, and the crazy situations that happened. I now get to work with children everyday, and also get to work in a kitchen, expanding some cooking skills! Both of these short-term jobs have taught me different hard work, and it's nice to take a little break from the corporate world.

After many unanswered questions as to why we shouldn't stay in Utah for school, I can now say that it's because I no longer have that job. Sure, we could have certainly stayed, and in the same situation, I totally could have found another job, no problem. But, I don't believe that was our plan. I have been having a lot of anxiety these last couple of days looking at the calendar and knowing I have to pack up my house. I honestly don't want to leave our home, Utah, our comfortable place. I haven't ever really been in Utah without being with Tanner, so i just feel like this is our home. It scares me to start a new life, but I know we can do it, and I know wherever we are will be home.

Our church put out another wonderful Easter video, and i couldn't help but sob through the whole entire thing. It was just what I needed to see last night, and everyday as a reminder that I'm not going through these feelings, or things alone. What a wonderful season this is to reflect on our savior, and best friend. I am so thankful to know that I have a friend so close to me when no one else is there. He makes me feel safe in times of trouble, and I couldn't get through life without him. No way. I was so happy to be reminded that i can do this, and that there's always a reason.

I hope you find this video as special as I do. Make sure to take a look at mormon.org and read about Easter week and how he lives today. Enjoy!